TOMORROW IS MOTHER'S DAY, and, like all American Mother's Days in the past, it is an opportunity for pacifists and suffragettes to protest the American Civil War.
Why are you giving me such an odd look? Surely you remember that Mother's Day was introduced in the United States by Julia Ward Howe, the author of "The Battle Hymn of The Republic," herself an activist in the joint causes of pacifism and women's suffrage. And you must remember that her intention in starting the holiday was to unite women to protest the unspeakable carnage of the War Between the States, as expressed in her "Mother's Day Proclamation," mustn't you?
No? Well, no matter. Even if your mother is neither a pacifist or a suffragette -- if she spends her weekends, say, writing hawkish letters to government demanding more and better war, but, in the meanwhile, steadfastly refusing to vote, she's still your mother. On this day you owe her a card, and a phone call. And, we daresay, a cocktail.
This is why we have invented one to celebrate the event. We wanted a drink that was potent, yet feminine. We wanted a drink that would satisfy firebrands and homebodies alike. And, more than anything, we wanted to create a cocktail that would involve chamomile tea. And so we give you our invention, which, after the film Anchorman, we have dubbed the Dorothy Mantooth is a Saint. Mix your mother up a glass tomorrow, kiss her on the forehead, and, when she slips into slumber, pull the biography of Carrie Chapman Catt out of her hands, put away her collected photos of Mathew Brady, and let her sleep, for God's sake -- she's your mother!
The Dorothy Mantooth is a Saint
2 parts peppermint schnapps
1 part chamomile tea, iced
Mix together the peppermint schnapps and the iced tea and serve over ice in a highball glass. (SPARBER)