In honor of the Geek Prom: The nerdiest cocktail ever

FOR THOSE OF YOU who went to college on a football scholarship, or whose daddy gave you a Mustang for your sweet 16, or who experienced your first kiss at age 18 or younger, or have never seen a 20-sided dice, or don't know what COBAL and FORTRAN is, or dislike Pee Wee Herman, or are shocked by the idea of dressing as cartoon animals prior to -- and during -- lovemaking, there is a Twin Cities event that you might wish to steer clear of.

I speak, of course, of the annual Geek Prom, now in its fifth year, occurring, inevitably, at the Science Museum of Minnesota tomorrow night, Saturday, May 11.

Of course, we at Bottle Gang do not consider ourselves geeks, but, rather, debauched sophisticates and rootless cosmopolitans, but we cannot resist a party, and this looks to be a very good one. Further: It looks inspired. From the choice of music, an Electric Light Orchestra cover band called E.L.nO., to a dance contest where prizes are awarded for the most spasmodic terpsichore, there looks to be much fun to be had. And, as we suffer an agonizing addiction to novelty, and silliness, and fun, we shall be there, on the dance floor, drunk as always and dancing as badly as possible.

But in preparation for the Geek Prom, we would like to offer a new cocktail, which we have decided to dub The Nerd, although, if you prefer, you can spell it N3rd, or you can call it OMG Imz drinak teh N3rdz, if you like. We won't mind.

The Nerd

Vodka
A selection of soft drinks, mixed together at random; alternately, just use OK Soda
Pop rocks

Mix a random selection of soft drinks together, preferably in a large plastic tumbler that looks like Darth Vader, creating the drink long known to children as the "suicide" or the "kamikaze." If possible, include Mountain Dew. Alternately, if you have old cans of OK Soda, just use that. Fill tumbler three quarters of the way with this concoction, top off with vodka, and stir. Rim tumbler with pop rocks the way you would rim a margarita with salt. (SPARBER)